Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself.

Or they can be an addiction. How can you know the difference?

• Angie would surf the channels whenever she felt stressed or alone.

• Karen would lose herself in a book when things felt overwhelming.

• Keith would retreat and meditate when his wife wanted to talk.

• Patty?s work schedule left her little time at home.

• Carl spent more time in the garage fixing things than with his family.

• Patrick?s love of running was interfering with his family time.

Whether or not an activity is an addiction depends upon your INTENT.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of aloneness and loneliness, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of rejection or the fear of domination, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to put off doing something you don?t really want to do but need to do, it is an addiction.

Whenever an activity is used as a way to avoid something - painful feelings, difficult or boring tasks - it becomes an addiction. It?s really no different than using substances such alcohol, drugs, or food to avoid painful feelings or challenging tasks. The problem with using addictions to avoid painful feelings is that the feelings don?t actually go away. They are just numbed for the moment but are silently eroding one?s sense of self. We can get away with it only for so long before it shows up in some way - illness, divorce, depression, and so on. And avoiding tasks means that the tasks pile up, eventually causing the very stress we want to avoid. Our society is filled with ways to avoid. Yet it is avoidance that leads to the very feelings we are striving to avoid!

When the intent of an activity is to take loving care of yourself by providing yourself with fun, creativity and expression, relaxation, personal growth, spiritual growth, physical health and well-being, then it is a loving action rather than an addiction. It all depends on your INTENT.

Next time you want to participate in your favorite activity, you might want to notice your intent. Do you want to relax and watch TV or are you avoiding some difficult feeling or task? Do you find yourself scheduling more work than you can really handle to avoid dealing with aloneness, loneliness, or conflict with a mate, or are you really loving your work and feeling fulfilled by it? Are you exercising to support your health or to avoid feelings?

Once you become aware of using an activity to avoid, here?s what you can do about it:

1. Welcome the feeling you are trying so hard to avoid. Pay attention to the feeling - fear, loneliness, aloneness, agitation, boredom, anxiety.

2. Make a decision to learn what YOU might be doing to cause this feeling rather than continuing to avoid it.

3. Explore what you might be doing to cause this feeling. How are you not taking care of yourself that is causing your painful feeling? Are you procrastinating, judging yourself, or not standing up for yourself in conflict? How are you avoiding responsibility for your own well-being? Are you allowing yourself to be a victim, waiting for someone else to make you feel better?

4. Once you understand what you are doing to cause your distress, then you need to ask ?What would be the loving action for myself?? You are asking this question of your highest self, or of your spiritual guidance if you are connected with a source of guidance. If you open to learning about what is loving, ideas will pop into your mind.

5. Now you need to take the loving action on your own behalf - complete a task, stand up for yourself and speak your truth with someone, and so on.

6. Re-evaluate how you are feeling. Are you feeling more peaceful and more powerful? You will feel more peaceful if you have taken the loving action. If you are not feeling better, don?t just turn back to your addictions. Look for another loving action until you find what really makes you feel safe on a deep level, not just the temporary pacification of an addiction.

You will find your addictions fading away as you learn to take loving care of yourself.

.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Though there are hundreds of studies that suggest that many tests aren?t a true measure of your intelligence or potential for success, the reality is most universities still rely on them to measure a student?s academic acumen.

Because of this, it is important that you learn how to do well on a test and succeed in college to further your post-college potential for career success.

Test Taking Strategies

So what can you do to boost your test scores without necessarily committing more time to the library?

Fortunately there are hundreds of time tested strategies that smart students have been using for years. The tips listed below will help boost your test scores without committing you to countless hours in the library.

Test Tips of Test Smart Students

• Study two days prior to your test to retain the maximum amount of information possible.

• Perform a brief ?re-cap? or self test the day before the test. Only spend 20 minutes or less reviewing material.

• Study in a non-distracting environment in 1-2 hour intervals.

• Be sure to highlight key points in the text and read over each chapter summary to refresh your knowledge on a particular subject.

• Talk with your professor at least a week prior to the test and go over your study strategy. Your professor can point out gaps in your thinking and you will ensure you study all the ?essential? information that will be on the test.

• Fuel your brain with energy food prior to your test. Bran muffins, complete breakfasts and fruit are all good choices. Candy bars and coffee are not.

• Get a good night?s sleep the night prior to your test. You can find plenty of time to party the night after your big test.

• Make sure you know where your test is being held and show up 15 minutes early to relieve pre-test anxiety.

• Read all the instructions on your test carefully. Nine out of Ten mistakes can be attributed to a misunderstanding of test requirements.

• Be sure to ask the professor if you are unclear on any points or questions.

• If you are trying to remember a lot of dates or specific facts, answer all the test questions with this information first, so you don?t have to worry about remembering everything for the entire test.

• Sit in a secluded and non distracting area of the classroom so you can take your test in peace.

• Go with your gut instinct and don?t change answers when reviewing your test. Your first instinct is usually the right one.

Smart test takers also reduce anxiety before a test by taking some deep breaths and relaxing. Keep in mind the more you stress out about a test the less likely you are to do well. Consider a 5 minute meditation just prior to your test to clear your mind of restless thoughts.

By adopting even a few of these strategies, you?ll likely find your test scores improve significantly in a short amount of time.

.

Josiah Terence is a freelance writer and author of ?The Lazy Student?s Guide to Better Grades?. To find out how you can reduce your study time even further and even change bad grades into good ones, check out: http://www.lazywaytobettergrades.com

Your mouth is dry, your palms are sweaty, your heart is beating so fast it feels like it is going to pop out of your chest!

Sound familiar?

For most people, interviews are uncomfortable.

The mere thought of them causes anxiety and nervousness… and this is the last impression you want to give a bar manager during an interview!

The competition is fierce in this industry, so why do you always ?bomb? during your interviews?

You probably walk out of them and after the fact think of all the things you could of said, how you could of answered certain questions, but this does not matter, its how you perform during the interview that gets you the job.

Theres already enough things out of your control you are competing with, so why work against yourself?

Let me show you how to be in your full power during the interview, so that scoring your dream job and leaving the competition in the dust comes easily and effortlessly to you!

1) Dress The Part

Dress as thought you already work there, give the interviewer a rock solid visual of what youd look like behind the bar… this makes it more probable hed consider you for the job.

Remember also that this is the service industry! Unless you are applying to a five star hotel, theres no reason to show up in a suit and tie for the interview. This is trying too hard. Wear the same type of attire the employees wear.

2) Eye Contact

If you cant bring yourself to make eye contact with the interviewer, you can forget about getting the job.

When asked a question, if your look to the floor or to the side when answering it gives the impression you are not telling the truth for starters, but it also represents a lack of confidence, which is not something you find among good bartenders.

Look the person in the eye when speaking and more importantly, listening. This is easier said then done if you are in a habit of not doing it. But just becoming aware of it is it all takes.

3) Act As If

There is no better remedy out there than ?acting as if….? Act is if you are the best bartender this person has ever seen. Walk into the interview with that attitude and youll be surprised at the energy you feel. You will tap into raw genius that you never thought you had! You will answer questions elegantly give the interviewer exactly what they want to hear.

4) Be Direct

Rambling and excessive talking is a sign of nervousness so avoid this at all costs. Be as direct and to-the-point as possible. Not in a rude way, just answer the questions without going overboard. The interviewer will appreciate this.

5) You Ask The Questions

This may sound like a shock to you, but it is not the interviewer that should be asking all the questions during an interview. The way you want to approach an interview from this point on is… you are interviewing them! You may find that they are not the best place to work for after all.

Have your own list of questions to ask the interviewer!!! The one who asks the questions is in control, this is not to say to not let them ask you any questions, but have some of your own to balance things out. This shows professionalism, dedication and preparation.

.

Jeremy Sherk, a professional bartender who*s been serving drinks before he could legally drink himself, reveals everything bartending schools forget to teach you. He gives you proven methods to drastically increase your tips and get your dream job bartending, guaranteed, at http://www.bartendingsecretsexposed.com

I?m writing this on my laptop in a Cosi caf? in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C. The reason I am here has nothing to do with me or my business, but the reason I can continue to be successful in my work is because I have set myself up to do so.

How? By creating supportive environments. In this case, the laptop, the appropriate software, and the ability to connect to the Internet, as well as the support of my husband, all contribute positively to my accomplishment of the task: writing and submitting this column on deadline and without stress.

Creating supportive environments is imperative to your success as an entrepreneur. It goes without saying that if you have environments that will support you and your passion, it?s going to be much easier and more enjoyable for you to do your work. I?m going to touch upon the environments that I believe are most essential to your success and well being.

There are many environments in your life, and most of them intertwine. Being aware of these environments will ensure that you have a hand in creating them, and not allow them to be created for you by tolerating those people, situations and things that you shouldn?t. Important areas of your overall environment include your home, office/work space, body, energy, nature, which all impact your mental, spiritual, and emotional environments.

In your outer environment, your home is one of the most important. Your home should be a sacred place for you, a place where you feel safe, taken care of, and content. Clutter and chaos in the home should be kept at a minimum, but your bedroom and your work space in particular should reflect calm. I know sometimes it just isn?t possible to stay on top of it all, but if you make a consistent effort to divide and conquer ? and ask for help! - over time you can make a huge difference in the quality of your home environment. As bonus, you?ll create space for other more appropriate and wonderful things to enter as well!

If you have a list of things that are broken, need replacing, or just need to be tossed, then start doing this today. Pick three things that are in your home right at this moment that you can either toss or give away. Then do so, and feel the space clear.

Nothing blocks creativity more than clutter in your office or work space. To be honest, I write that sheepishly thinking of the paper piles on the floor surrounding my desk at home. What I need is a real desk and real filing cabinets (I?m working on about a 2×3 table with milk crates to hold my files), but I?ve put purchasing them on hold while we finish the rest of the house that was unfinished when we bought it. We are very close to the end and I have picked out the furniture I want, and just that simple decision is freeing a lot of mental stores.

If you have clutte up much needed space in your head! Other times you?ll enjoy some real breakthroughs. I highly recommend engaging in this practice. I have been journaling all my life, but the practice of Morning Pages really does help the creativity flow - besides that I believe that every life that is worth living is worth recording.

Your assignment then is to purchase a journal or notebook, or create a new file on your computer, and start tomorrow writing three pages of whatever comes to mind. Make this a daily practice and watch what happens.

Another huge part of perfecting your inner environment is living with integrity. Do what you say you will when you say you will do it. Most people make a solid effort on this front. Some people struggle, and I will admit to working hard on this principle in my personal life, although I seem to have this nailed in my professional life. My ?excuse? is that I have so many things going at once that I don?t always remember or have the time to do what I say I will when I say I will do it (like send thank you notes or run to the bank to deposit a check). So I have created a system that makes it easier for me to keep my word, which is very important to me. I created a list each day of the things I must get done, and I do my very best to complete the list. I don?t always succeed, but I?ve gotten much better at it than I have in the past. The list also makes me aware of when I need more time to deliver and therefore I can let any appropriate person know that ahead of time, keeping my integrity intact.

Making an effort over time to create supportive environments for the things that are most important to you will open doors and opportunities that you might never have received otherwise. You deserve to be supported in your work and your life, so choosing to allow those people and things into it that bring out your best is not only a gift to yourself, but also a gift to the world.

copyright 2004 Alicia M. Forest and EntreMoms.com?

.

Alicia Forest is an EntreMoms? Expert, coaching Moms who want to become Entrepreneurs by building a successful business from home, by their definition of success. If you?d like more tips on how to create supportive environments for your success, please visit www.entremoms.com and sign up for Alicia?s free EntreMoms? Success Newsletter. You are free to re-publish this article as long as this bio box and copyright remain intact.

alicia@entremoms.com

There is an art and a science to prosperity. The art is playing with the magic of prosperity. The science is aligning with the physics of prosperity.

Play at Life!

Why does the money run out? Why doesn’t passion stay around? Why doesn?t health last?

Perhaps because we?re not playing. Instead, we?re analyzing and strategizing. By not being innocent, open, willing, spontaneous and flexible, we kill the magic of natural prosperity.

Results are important in life. And life works out best when played like a kid?s game?in the spirit of a fun adventure between two best friends. When approached lightly?not as a deadly serious contest?life actually responds more readily to our wishes.

In fact, the happiest outcomes occur when we play along with the fluctuations of life instead of fighting them. Humor and laughter activate energy flow, which, in turn, generates abundance.

Ride the Pulse of Prosperity

Just like the body?s circulatory system, prosperity has a pulse, a rhythm. When we?re willing to go along with the pace and pattern of life?s changes, we prosper. When we tighten up, hold back, or try to control or micro-manage life?s vacillations, we cut ourselves off from life?s natural bounty. The magic dies.

Align with Attraction

Do you feel stuck? Are you struggling to make life work? Tired of your own soap opera reruns?

Get your life aligned with the Law of Attraction!

Scientists agree with spiritual teachers. Prosperity is simply the natural physics of the universe. Science calls it the Law of Quantum Physics. Metaphysics calls it the Law of Spiritual Attraction. Like energy attracts like energy. Like vibration attracts like vibration. Like qualities attract like qualities. This is Instant Karma in all its beauty and fierce justice.

Scientifically speaking, all physical matter in life is pulsating electromagnetic energy that undulates in a wave motion?and thus, naturally connects with those aspects of life that are on that same wavelength.

An Inside Job

So how do you put cash in your pocket, romance in your bedroom, and vitality in your body?

The Latin root of ?prosperity? means ?to make happy, favorable, successful, fortunate, thriving. Prosperity is not an outer circumstance or state. Prosperity is an inner feeling or space?an experience of oneself as joyful and flourishing. Outer events are the reflections of how you have been flowing from your Source Energy. This is what a good creator does?flow energy.

You can attract prosperity with your personal magnetism. As you focus your attention on your dream, the Law of Attraction brings your desires to you automatically.

True prosperity is having what you choose to have as you choose to have it.

Here are a few effective, pragmatic ways to tap into the River of Plenty.

Master the Law of Giving and Receiving

When you give freely of your gifts and talents, you receive back in kind. The key to success here is how you give, not what you give. When you come from a place of bountiful giving, you receive plentifulness in return. When you give from a place of lack or limitation (for example, expecting something in return as a pay-off), you receive back the same vibration or quality?a reflection of lack and limitation. When you give from a space or energy of fear (scarcity consciousness), the universe mirrors that poverty back to you.

Align Your Personality with Your Soul

Align your personality?s actions and attitudes with your soul purpose and passion?and your life will unfold in a profoundly easy, delightful and bountiful way.

Walk with an Appreciative Heart

What you appreciate in life appreciates?increases, grows. The more aspects of life you appreciate, the richer you become inwardly?and, in turn, outwardly, according to the Law of Attraction.

Prosperity Begets Prosperity

Prosperity is a living, organic state of being. Prosperity defies the laws of economics in that it?s not a commodity that we have less of when we give some away. Prosperity grows greater for the giver as it?s given. The more you share, the more you end up receiving. Give and you shall attract. Nature does abhor a vacuum!

Draw from Your Prosperity Consciousness Bank Account

Vibrations of good times can be stored up for retrieval during challenging times. Prosperous times can remind you emotionally and physically of how the vibration of happiness feels?and shift you palpably into those good vibes in the present.

Experientially re-living peak moments from the past is more transforming than mentally remembering an event. ?Positive experiencing? is even more powerful than ?positive thinking.?

Make Room for Miracles

Create the attitude and conditions that make miracles more likely to occur. Fear less and dare more. Invite surprise. Welcome serendipity. Be open to unexpected sources of income, resources and support?especially those that don?t ?make sense? to the intellect with its limited range of possibilities.

And stay open to invisible assistance from your spirit friends?be they angels, Ascended Masters or spirit guides.

Ask “Why not?”

Take the road less traveled. Be different, creative, fluid, experimental. See fresh possibilities, better combinations, and new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. Exude excitement and enthusiasm about daily life. The electromagnetic energy of this exuberant, open attitude will attract magic, meaning and money into your world.

Quit Energizing the Past

The past only exists to the degree we unconsciously drag it into the present. Take charge of how yesterday affects your today. Regard the past as an eternal stream of “practice takes” that allow you to “get it right” in this moment! And energize only the elements of the past that feed the plentiful reality you are creating now.

Forgive ? then Forgive Some More!

By learning to forgive ourselves and others, we give ourselves the gift of freedom from the past. Forgiveness loosens the debilitating constraints of anger, resentment, cynicism, regret and despair?and releases our hearts to swell with aliveness and compassion. Give yourself and others Blanket Forgiveness?now!

Take Charge of the Present Moment

“Now” is the only time you can control. All success and bounty flows from the power of the vibration you are in each moment. By learning to be present in the current moment?in the ?current? of the moment?you naturally receive the treasures that it carries.

Feng-shui Your Life!

Give yourself a “Spacelift.? By intuitively re-arranging the elements of your daily life, you can create the quality of time and space that will increase your ability to receive abundance. Clear your path of illusions and lies so that your creating attention flows solely to your dreams, not to the distractions and myths of life.

Tap the Power of Surrender

Worry serves as a signal that we must tend to some aspect of life. But when we have done all that we do for the moment, it’s time to let go of anxiety and surrender to Universal Support. When intense emotions arise?whether delight or grief, excitement or fear?abandon yourself to them. Don’t hold on! Relax that death grip on your feelings?and, in doing so, on the inflow of life?s aliveness and bounty!

Feel Extravagantly

Feel the pain as well as the joy. Shake with fear. Let the anger rise up and roar! If you’re not truly feeling, you’re not truly alive?you’re just going through the paces. You?re only having a NLE?Near-Life Experience.

You can?t have money, love and health without feeling your emotions. Primal Life Force is the energy that animates all of life?s rewards. That same exact energy comprises the essence of all emotion. The core natures of prosperity and emotion are one and the same: Source Energy. Make friends with your feelings and you open the floodgate to easy, natural abundance in your life!

.

Keith Varnum has 30 years of practical success as an author,accupuncturist, personal coach, filmmaker, vision quest guide and international seminar leader, and is the owner of http://www.TheDream.com and http://TheCareerDoctor.net.

Keith@thedream.com

Randall sought my help because he was stuck being miserable and had no idea how to get out of his misery. In his life he had experienced moments of great joy and sense of oneness with all of life, but those moments were infrequent.

He wanted more of those moments but had no idea how to bring them about.

Randall is an extremely intelligent man, but in some ways he was using his own intelligence against himself. The problem was that when Randall did have those brief moments of true connection, he immediately went into his mind to try to figure out how it happened. The moment he went into his mind, he lost the connection that he so desperately desired.

The reason Randall went into his mind was that, as much as he wanted the joy of deep spiritual connection, he wanted something even more than that - control over that connection. Randall?s ego wounded self believed that he could control the connection with Spirit with his intellect - if only he could figure it out then he could control it. The last thing Randall wanted to do, which is what is necessary to connect with Spirit, is to surrender his thinking. Randall was deeply addicted to thinking as a way to not feel his inner experience. Thinking was his way of controlling his painful feelings, such as his aloneness, loneliness, and helplessness over others and over his spiritual connection.

Many us of are addicted to thinking. We believe if we can just figure things out we can control others and the outcome of things. We want to control how people feel about us and treat us by saying just the right thing - so we have to think about it over and over to discover the right thing to say. This is called ?ruminating.? Ruminating is obsessively thinking about something over and over in the hopes of finally coming up with the ?right? answer, the right thing to say, the right way to be to have control over others and the outcome of things. Ruminating is also a way to have control over our own painful feelings, which is what addictions are all about.

In my work with Randall, he would immediately go into his head and analyze what was happening in the session the minute feelings came up. Over and over I would bring him out of his head and into his body, into his feelings. His feelings were so terrifying to him that he could only stay with his feelings for a few moments before he was back into his head - explaining, figuring out, intellectualizing. He was so terrified of the soul loneliness and aloneness he felt that he had learned to avoid these feelings with his mind. Yet until Randall was willing to feel his painful feelings, which had been there since childhood, he couldn?t stay out of his head. As long as his intent was to control his pain rather than learn from it, he would not be able to move into the spiritual connection he so desired.

The purpose of all of our addictions are to avoid pain, especially the deep soul loneliness that we all feel in this society. The problem is that our disconnection from our feelings - which is our Inner Child - creates aloneness as well. Our feeling self, our Inner Child, is left alone inside with no one to attend to the painful feelings. It is only when our desire is to learn about how we may be causing our own painful feelings that we open to our inner experience. Our desire to learn also opens the door to our spiritual connection, which we cannot feel when our intent is to avoid pain with our various addictions.

It took Randall many months to be willing to feel his painful feelings, but he discovered that when he finally had the courage to feel them, it was not as bad as he thought. In fact, when he was no longer abandoning his Inner Child by going into his addictive thinking, he no longer felt alone within. Connecting with himself allowed him to connect with Spirit more and more of the time. Rather than getting there through thinking and trying to control it, he was getting there by being present in the moment with his inner experience - surrendering to the moment. Randall found that while he could not control others and the outcome of things, he actually did have control over his misery - by choosing the intent to learn rather than protecting against pain. While he couldn?t control Spirit, he did have control his own intent, which eventually led to his being able to connect with Spirit.

.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

margaret@innerbonding.com

“Consuming pineapple and/or parsley helps sweeten the taste of the male ejaculate. Can there be any truth to this and what other foods affect the taste, for better or for worse?”

Yes, what you eat can influence the taste and smell of your ejaculate.

This is something like the smell of your sweat on the next day of a heavily spicy and garlic full dinner.

Because the average ejaculate consists mostly of protein, citric acid, fructose, sodium, chloride and smaller amounts of ammonia, ascorbic acid, acid phosphates, calcium, carbon dioxide, cholesterol, prostaglandins, creatine, and other minerals and chemicals which are produced by the prostate gland, cowpers gland, testicles and many other parts of your body, but shortly by “your body”, and your body can only use its stocks and what you eat as its raw material.

Of course, every body has its own formula to create the semen, but eating less meat (and proteins) and more carbo hydrates, vegetables and fresh fruits may improve the taste and smell. For example parsley is a healthy plant and may also help to make your body juices more sweeter.

In general, dairy products create the foulest tasting fluids, alkaline based foods as meat and fish produce a butter, fish taste. Fruits and quality alcohol are good for a pleasant, sugary flavor. Chemically processed liquors may cause an acidic taste.

As said previously, ejaculate containing sperm has a unique individual taste for each male. Some males have bitter tasting ejaculate, tastes burnt, sour and strong. Other males, primarily vegetarians have ejaculate that generally tastes sweet, nut like. But to produce healthy semen your body will need some protein rich in zinc anyways.

A strong smell may also indicate an infection in genitals and you should urgently visit a gynecologist without losing time in the search of the magic formula!

Of course your body’s duty is not to produce tasty semen, but healthy and productive sperms. Everything healthy and good for your body is healthy and good for your semen. Drink mild water on the morning and keep drinking more water than usual in the day, this will also help your bowels and your body to detoxinate. Eat less meat, more vegetables, drink less alcohol and stop smoking.

Finally, if your partner really loves you she/he must love everything about you. Don’t spend your time to change small details, instead, learn how to be a great lover that nobody is interested with your semen taste/smell.

The same is valid for vaginal secretions, and women have to be careful to improve the taste which is salty and acidic. But women’s problem, mostly, is related to cleanliness, usually they don’t know how to, truly, in and out cleaning process.

We believe that if you really love your partner you won’t be too disturbed even the semen taste is unsupportable, you will find a way to cover this default with condom, flavored lubricant, mouthwash… The question must be how to produce healthy and good quality sperms, and avoid the transmission of many diseases and addictions to future generations!

.

Amy Guven is partner of Vitalinfocenter.com since 2000 and the author of famous eBook “Amy’s Tutorial - Reshape your Womanhood” about better sex tips and techniques to improve sexual talents and maximize happiness in relationships. Being highly successful in its goal of making people sexually confident and happy, Amy’s Tutorial has been sold thousands of copies till today.

Have you given up on yourself? Have you decided to take the easy road and coast for the rest of your life? Have you come to the decision that you have done all you could possibly be expected to do in your life now it is someone else?s turn? As you get older you may not be able to run as fast, swim as far, hit the ball as hard or even concentrate as long as you used to but is that the reason to give up? Surely your aim should be to be the best you can at whatever age you are.

?Navratilova wants to be as good a player as she can possibly be at the age of 47, just as she wanted to be the best she could possibly be at 19, at 25, at 35?. (Nick Pitt).

Whether you are like Navratilova and still working or retired and hitting a golf ball around or focussed on the garden or the grand children, nothing is stopping you from being the best you can.

Dennis has been retired for about eighteen years and still hankers back to the old days when he was?.. and capable of doing??. Although he is an avid gardener he continually gripes about the length of time things take and ?when I was younger?. The result has been a gradual, deterioration of his health over the recent past and since his wife died, about five years ago, the world has owed him a living and he appears to have got angrier and angrier with the world and people around him.

Michael, on the other hand, also retired about eighteen years ago and took the opportunity to improve his golf. When his wife died about seven years ago, after a period of mourning and self reflection, he made the conscious decision that he had to get on with his life and decided to do two things. Firstly, he decided to continue with his golf and make an effort to play at least twice a week and be the best he could. This, in his terms, means not to let anyone down and do his best in every competition.

Secondly, Michael decided that there were a lot of places in the world that he would like to visit before he died and he set about visiting Jordan, Egypt, Israel, Canada, and many other countries with the result that he is totally unaware of and unrestricted by, his age. He is good company and always willing to enter into a conversation about the present and what is going on in his life.

Last year he severely damaged his knee playing golf and had to undergo emergency surgery which resulted in many hours of physiotherapy and six months plus in the lounge chair. ?Confined to barracks?s? is how Michael described it. But he took it all in his stride putting the same endeavour into getting well as he put into the other areas of his life.

As both these men are members of our family it never ceases to amaze us how different these two characters are. They both had similar life experiences but when you compare and reflect on their current situation there is one thing that stands out. Michael is determined to be the best he can be at 83, just as he wanted to be the best he could be at 40, 50 and 60. He rarely, if ever, talks about the past. He always focuses on what?s happening now. He has not given up on himself.

Just to show you how amazing the human mind is:

The following text gives a good insight into the way your mind works. It may appear a bit difficult at first but please stick with it. Don?t give up on yourself.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was raednig!

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? (Unfortunately we do not have the originating site.)

Your mind does have phenomenal power. If you start with the thought; to be the best you can possibly be and continually follow it with sincere action you may get a bit jumbled up from time to time but it will always see you through. There may be some unintended consequences but to have an enjoyable and rewarding life the aim must always be; to get the best out of yourself.

The point is don?t give up on yourself. Be the best you can now, at whatever age you are.

Good Luck

Graham and Julie
www.desktop-meditation.com

.

To see more of our work please go to:

www.desktop-meditation.com

graham@desktop-meditation.com

Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 11, 2004

My sister is 45 and having an affair with an old boyfriend from her youth. She says she loves him, he loves her, and they wish to pursue a life together.

They are both married, though he is separated. My sister has a wonderful husband who is devoted to her even after discovering the affair.

Our families are close, and we are in shock at this heartbreaking news. I believe my sister is going through a midlife crisis. Her husband is still willing to save the marriage, but he is tired of her obsession with this other man.

My sister has three children, the youngest in his late teens. She quit college when she discovered she was pregnant and got married at age 20. Her husband finished his education, while my sister worked to support them. They were on the verge of financial security when she met up with her old boyfriend.

One thing led to another. Now she and her husband will probably divorce. When all this started, she saw a counselor. She said the counselor commented her affair sounded like “a love story.” I’m sure my sister told this professional only what she wanted and left out how she and her husband raised three wonderful children.

Our whole family is distraught. We cannot figure out what went wrong. I am angry. We love our brother-in-law so much and are concerned about him and the children. She says they are doing fine and will get over it in a few years.

My sister mentioned recently she “had to get married.” I believe she is using that as a tool to rationalize what she has done. I feel I am standing back and watching her make the worst mistake of her life. How do I persuade my sister to seek professional help to guide her through this life-changing decision?

Jocelyn

Jocelyn, why can’t you accept that your sister got married because she was pregnant? Why is that not the truth of how she ended up married? How many women have slept with a man they didn’t love and wound up pregnant?

Your sister is finally owning up to the truth. She got married because of a child. Now that the children are grown, she feels free to leave the marriage. In her mind, having a child trapped her, and the age of the children is now setting her free.

You love your brother-in-law. But the reality in your mind is not the reality in your sister’s mind. And counseling? Bah! Your sister went to a counselor to get the answer she wanted to hear, and now you want her to go to a counselor to get the answer you want to hear.

People make up their mind to divorce or not to divorce from within their own breast. Perhaps it was your parents’ choice that she married. You wish it to be your choice she doesn’t divorce. Perhaps she is finally making her own choice.

Will you still love your sister even though she makes decisions you don’t approve of? At what point in life do we get to make our own decisions?

Wayne & Tamara

Personal Finance

I’m usually good at deciding things, but this one’s got me. I recently landed a good job that pays even more than my mother makes. My mom advised that I open a bank account jointly with her. Is this necessary? I mean, I’m 24. I live at home, but I contribute substantially.

Sophia

Sophia, in some circumstances it might be advantageous to share an account with your mother. For example, if she was elderly or infirm, adding your name to her account would allow you to bank for her. But there is no such reason here.

Whoever controls your purse controls your life. You are an adult woman fully capable of managing your own affairs. That is what you should do.

Wayne

.

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

Do you know anyone who always wins? Sure you know that person, everything just works out for them. They go into business and they are an instant success.

They enter the dating scene and their phone rings off the hook. If they were in the Olympics, you just know they wouldn’t settle for anything less than the gold. It seems as though they always win.

Why is it that some people just have IT and others seem not to? Want to learn the secret to their success? Ready? Here it comes….the secret to unstoppable success…drumroll please….Winners EXPECT to win!

That’s the big secret. Simple, huh?

But, think about it for a moment…Winners actually SEE their success BEFORE it happens! Do YOU expect to win BEFORE you have even entered a situation…or do you assess your chances AFTER you are already in the situation? Or, even worse, do you imagine failure?

BEFORE selling a piece of real estate, winners EXPECT to get their asking price. BEFORE buying a car, winners EXPECT to get a discount.

Before running an Olympic race, winners EXPECT TO WIN the gold, so they do win! This one small thing gives winners a tremendous advantage over others.

Want to be a winner?

Try this exercise…

Close your eyes for a full minute and THINK about achieving a goal in your life…go ahead, close your eyes for one minute and really THINK about achieving it.

OK, now close your eyes again for one full minute and EXPECT to get it. Did you notice a difference? When we simply THINK about getting something, our thoughts tend to be vague.

There are also two options…getting it or not getting it (winning or losing). But, when we EXPECT to get it, there is only one possibility…getting it (winning).

So now that you know the secret, the next step is applying your powerful knowledge and getting yourself to that point where YOU ALWAYS EXPECT TO WIN. I suggest that you take a full minute pause right before entering any challenging situation. During that minute, close your eyes, and imagine winning. See it, feel it, hear it, imagine yourself already having won. Guess what…you will have programmed your mind to pull you powerfully in the winning direction.

When you do enter that situation, your words and actions will be generated from a winning mindset. Your path will be straight to victory…you will already know the way and EXPECT to get there…so you WILL get there. Want a little more help with this?

http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com

Using the power of hypnosis, you can easily program yourself for a constant winning mindset. This is why I have created over 70 powerful hypnosis products to help you achieve all of your desires. I invite you to visit my vast library of tools you can use in your life right now to make a postiive change. They are now avaliable in downloadable form…this means you can use them right NOW. Learn more…

http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com

Until next time,

Live in abundant possibility!

Steve G. Jones
Clinical Hypnotherapist
http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com

.

Steve G. Jones is a board certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. He is a member of the National Guild of Hypnotists, American Board of Hypnotherapy, president of the American Alliance of Hypnotists, on the board of directors of the Los Angeles chapter of the American Lung Association, and director of the California state registered Steve G. Jones School of Hypnotherapy.

http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com

support@betterlivingwithhypnosis.com