Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself.

Or they can be an addiction. How can you know the difference?

• Angie would surf the channels whenever she felt stressed or alone.

• Karen would lose herself in a book when things felt overwhelming.

• Keith would retreat and meditate when his wife wanted to talk.

• Patty?s work schedule left her little time at home.

• Carl spent more time in the garage fixing things than with his family.

• Patrick?s love of running was interfering with his family time.

Whether or not an activity is an addiction depends upon your INTENT.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of aloneness and loneliness, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of rejection or the fear of domination, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to put off doing something you don?t really want to do but need to do, it is an addiction.

Whenever an activity is used as a way to avoid something - painful feelings, difficult or boring tasks - it becomes an addiction. It?s really no different than using substances such alcohol, drugs, or food to avoid painful feelings or challenging tasks. The problem with using addictions to avoid painful feelings is that the feelings don?t actually go away. They are just numbed for the moment but are silently eroding one?s sense of self. We can get away with it only for so long before it shows up in some way - illness, divorce, depression, and so on. And avoiding tasks means that the tasks pile up, eventually causing the very stress we want to avoid. Our society is filled with ways to avoid. Yet it is avoidance that leads to the very feelings we are striving to avoid!

When the intent of an activity is to take loving care of yourself by providing yourself with fun, creativity and expression, relaxation, personal growth, spiritual growth, physical health and well-being, then it is a loving action rather than an addiction. It all depends on your INTENT.

Next time you want to participate in your favorite activity, you might want to notice your intent. Do you want to relax and watch TV or are you avoiding some difficult feeling or task? Do you find yourself scheduling more work than you can really handle to avoid dealing with aloneness, loneliness, or conflict with a mate, or are you really loving your work and feeling fulfilled by it? Are you exercising to support your health or to avoid feelings?

Once you become aware of using an activity to avoid, here?s what you can do about it:

1. Welcome the feeling you are trying so hard to avoid. Pay attention to the feeling - fear, loneliness, aloneness, agitation, boredom, anxiety.

2. Make a decision to learn what YOU might be doing to cause this feeling rather than continuing to avoid it.

3. Explore what you might be doing to cause this feeling. How are you not taking care of yourself that is causing your painful feeling? Are you procrastinating, judging yourself, or not standing up for yourself in conflict? How are you avoiding responsibility for your own well-being? Are you allowing yourself to be a victim, waiting for someone else to make you feel better?

4. Once you understand what you are doing to cause your distress, then you need to ask ?What would be the loving action for myself?? You are asking this question of your highest self, or of your spiritual guidance if you are connected with a source of guidance. If you open to learning about what is loving, ideas will pop into your mind.

5. Now you need to take the loving action on your own behalf - complete a task, stand up for yourself and speak your truth with someone, and so on.

6. Re-evaluate how you are feeling. Are you feeling more peaceful and more powerful? You will feel more peaceful if you have taken the loving action. If you are not feeling better, don?t just turn back to your addictions. Look for another loving action until you find what really makes you feel safe on a deep level, not just the temporary pacification of an addiction.

You will find your addictions fading away as you learn to take loving care of yourself.

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Though there are hundreds of studies that suggest that many tests aren?t a true measure of your intelligence or potential for success, the reality is most universities still rely on them to measure a student?s academic acumen.

Because of this, it is important that you learn how to do well on a test and succeed in college to further your post-college potential for career success.

Test Taking Strategies

So what can you do to boost your test scores without necessarily committing more time to the library?

Fortunately there are hundreds of time tested strategies that smart students have been using for years. The tips listed below will help boost your test scores without committing you to countless hours in the library.

Test Tips of Test Smart Students

• Study two days prior to your test to retain the maximum amount of information possible.

• Perform a brief ?re-cap? or self test the day before the test. Only spend 20 minutes or less reviewing material.

• Study in a non-distracting environment in 1-2 hour intervals.

• Be sure to highlight key points in the text and read over each chapter summary to refresh your knowledge on a particular subject.

• Talk with your professor at least a week prior to the test and go over your study strategy. Your professor can point out gaps in your thinking and you will ensure you study all the ?essential? information that will be on the test.

• Fuel your brain with energy food prior to your test. Bran muffins, complete breakfasts and fruit are all good choices. Candy bars and coffee are not.

• Get a good night?s sleep the night prior to your test. You can find plenty of time to party the night after your big test.

• Make sure you know where your test is being held and show up 15 minutes early to relieve pre-test anxiety.

• Read all the instructions on your test carefully. Nine out of Ten mistakes can be attributed to a misunderstanding of test requirements.

• Be sure to ask the professor if you are unclear on any points or questions.

• If you are trying to remember a lot of dates or specific facts, answer all the test questions with this information first, so you don?t have to worry about remembering everything for the entire test.

• Sit in a secluded and non distracting area of the classroom so you can take your test in peace.

• Go with your gut instinct and don?t change answers when reviewing your test. Your first instinct is usually the right one.

Smart test takers also reduce anxiety before a test by taking some deep breaths and relaxing. Keep in mind the more you stress out about a test the less likely you are to do well. Consider a 5 minute meditation just prior to your test to clear your mind of restless thoughts.

By adopting even a few of these strategies, you?ll likely find your test scores improve significantly in a short amount of time.

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Josiah Terence is a freelance writer and author of ?The Lazy Student?s Guide to Better Grades?. To find out how you can reduce your study time even further and even change bad grades into good ones, check out: http://www.lazywaytobettergrades.com

Your mouth is dry, your palms are sweaty, your heart is beating so fast it feels like it is going to pop out of your chest!

Sound familiar?

For most people, interviews are uncomfortable.

The mere thought of them causes anxiety and nervousness… and this is the last impression you want to give a bar manager during an interview!

The competition is fierce in this industry, so why do you always ?bomb? during your interviews?

You probably walk out of them and after the fact think of all the things you could of said, how you could of answered certain questions, but this does not matter, its how you perform during the interview that gets you the job.

Theres already enough things out of your control you are competing with, so why work against yourself?

Let me show you how to be in your full power during the interview, so that scoring your dream job and leaving the competition in the dust comes easily and effortlessly to you!

1) Dress The Part

Dress as thought you already work there, give the interviewer a rock solid visual of what youd look like behind the bar… this makes it more probable hed consider you for the job.

Remember also that this is the service industry! Unless you are applying to a five star hotel, theres no reason to show up in a suit and tie for the interview. This is trying too hard. Wear the same type of attire the employees wear.

2) Eye Contact

If you cant bring yourself to make eye contact with the interviewer, you can forget about getting the job.

When asked a question, if your look to the floor or to the side when answering it gives the impression you are not telling the truth for starters, but it also represents a lack of confidence, which is not something you find among good bartenders.

Look the person in the eye when speaking and more importantly, listening. This is easier said then done if you are in a habit of not doing it. But just becoming aware of it is it all takes.

3) Act As If

There is no better remedy out there than ?acting as if….? Act is if you are the best bartender this person has ever seen. Walk into the interview with that attitude and youll be surprised at the energy you feel. You will tap into raw genius that you never thought you had! You will answer questions elegantly give the interviewer exactly what they want to hear.

4) Be Direct

Rambling and excessive talking is a sign of nervousness so avoid this at all costs. Be as direct and to-the-point as possible. Not in a rude way, just answer the questions without going overboard. The interviewer will appreciate this.

5) You Ask The Questions

This may sound like a shock to you, but it is not the interviewer that should be asking all the questions during an interview. The way you want to approach an interview from this point on is… you are interviewing them! You may find that they are not the best place to work for after all.

Have your own list of questions to ask the interviewer!!! The one who asks the questions is in control, this is not to say to not let them ask you any questions, but have some of your own to balance things out. This shows professionalism, dedication and preparation.

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Jeremy Sherk, a professional bartender who*s been serving drinks before he could legally drink himself, reveals everything bartending schools forget to teach you. He gives you proven methods to drastically increase your tips and get your dream job bartending, guaranteed, at http://www.bartendingsecretsexposed.com

I?m writing this on my laptop in a Cosi caf? in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C. The reason I am here has nothing to do with me or my business, but the reason I can continue to be successful in my work is because I have set myself up to do so.

How? By creating supportive environments. In this case, the laptop, the appropriate software, and the ability to connect to the Internet, as well as the support of my husband, all contribute positively to my accomplishment of the task: writing and submitting this column on deadline and without stress.

Creating supportive environments is imperative to your success as an entrepreneur. It goes without saying that if you have environments that will support you and your passion, it?s going to be much easier and more enjoyable for you to do your work. I?m going to touch upon the environments that I believe are most essential to your success and well being.

There are many environments in your life, and most of them intertwine. Being aware of these environments will ensure that you have a hand in creating them, and not allow them to be created for you by tolerating those people, situations and things that you shouldn?t. Important areas of your overall environment include your home, office/work space, body, energy, nature, which all impact your mental, spiritual, and emotional environments.

In your outer environment, your home is one of the most important. Your home should be a sacred place for you, a place where you feel safe, taken care of, and content. Clutter and chaos in the home should be kept at a minimum, but your bedroom and your work space in particular should reflect calm. I know sometimes it just isn?t possible to stay on top of it all, but if you make a consistent effort to divide and conquer ? and ask for help! - over time you can make a huge difference in the quality of your home environment. As bonus, you?ll create space for other more appropriate and wonderful things to enter as well!

If you have a list of things that are broken, need replacing, or just need to be tossed, then start doing this today. Pick three things that are in your home right at this moment that you can either toss or give away. Then do so, and feel the space clear.

Nothing blocks creativity more than clutter in your office or work space. To be honest, I write that sheepishly thinking of the paper piles on the floor surrounding my desk at home. What I need is a real desk and real filing cabinets (I?m working on about a 2×3 table with milk crates to hold my files), but I?ve put purchasing them on hold while we finish the rest of the house that was unfinished when we bought it. We are very close to the end and I have picked out the furniture I want, and just that simple decision is freeing a lot of mental stores.

If you have clutte up much needed space in your head! Other times you?ll enjoy some real breakthroughs. I highly recommend engaging in this practice. I have been journaling all my life, but the practice of Morning Pages really does help the creativity flow - besides that I believe that every life that is worth living is worth recording.

Your assignment then is to purchase a journal or notebook, or create a new file on your computer, and start tomorrow writing three pages of whatever comes to mind. Make this a daily practice and watch what happens.

Another huge part of perfecting your inner environment is living with integrity. Do what you say you will when you say you will do it. Most people make a solid effort on this front. Some people struggle, and I will admit to working hard on this principle in my personal life, although I seem to have this nailed in my professional life. My ?excuse? is that I have so many things going at once that I don?t always remember or have the time to do what I say I will when I say I will do it (like send thank you notes or run to the bank to deposit a check). So I have created a system that makes it easier for me to keep my word, which is very important to me. I created a list each day of the things I must get done, and I do my very best to complete the list. I don?t always succeed, but I?ve gotten much better at it than I have in the past. The list also makes me aware of when I need more time to deliver and therefore I can let any appropriate person know that ahead of time, keeping my integrity intact.

Making an effort over time to create supportive environments for the things that are most important to you will open doors and opportunities that you might never have received otherwise. You deserve to be supported in your work and your life, so choosing to allow those people and things into it that bring out your best is not only a gift to yourself, but also a gift to the world.

copyright 2004 Alicia M. Forest and EntreMoms.com?

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Alicia Forest is an EntreMoms? Expert, coaching Moms who want to become Entrepreneurs by building a successful business from home, by their definition of success. If you?d like more tips on how to create supportive environments for your success, please visit www.entremoms.com and sign up for Alicia?s free EntreMoms? Success Newsletter. You are free to re-publish this article as long as this bio box and copyright remain intact.

alicia@entremoms.com